


Hyacinths? It means I'm sorry, right?

by writingLILY



Category: A3! (Anime), A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, One-Sided Attraction, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24786532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingLILY/pseuds/writingLILY
Summary: And then she heard the clock starts its countdown towards her inevitable end."Nakamura-san, you have the Hanahaki disease."in which Sakyou was too busy looking for his first love he forgot the girl who stayed by his side the longest.
Relationships: Furuichi Sakyou/Original Female Character(s), Furuichi Sakyou/Tachibana Izumi, Sakoda Ken & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 23





	Hyacinths? It means I'm sorry, right?

Nakamura Rika didn't always love Sakyou the way she does now. He wasn't her first nor second and maybe even third love. She'd always seen him as that strict older brother and she knows that he sees her as the little sister too even when they are in the same age. "He's always been like that," she murmured as the machine besides her bed continues to beep.

"Always been what?" Ken asked besides her, startling her slightly.

"I just remembered your brother when we were young, Ken." She chuckled when she sees his sparkling eyes and says, "And you've always been like this, Ken."

"You have to tell me how Aniki was like, Anego!"

( "You're going there again, Sakyou?" She asked the boy in front of her, even though she knew his answer already. She wasn't surprised anymore when she sees him nod and took off to the Mankai Dorm for the nth time that month.

And as if practiced, her feet followed after his silhouette again. )

She leaned further down the basin, coughs racking up her body. Coughing petals after petals and even flowers in the basin. 

The nurse watched the falling flowers as she rubbed the back of her patient. She couldn't help but think that those chrysanthemums coated in blood were beautiful.

( Staring at her lunch, Rika said, "The girl you're looking for..." She paused to see if the other was listening. "You never told me her name," she continued.

  
It's been a long time since they've talked especially after her family moved to another place. Maybe she has to transfer school too just to save up money commuting. She doesn't want to, she thinks.

"Are you gonna make her your girlfriend?" She said teasingly but didn't expect the ache she felt when she sees him blushing. )

"You know when we were young, I always thought you'd become a lawyer or something law abiding," She said, munching on the apples he sliced for her.

"Is there something wrong with my profession?" 

_A lot of things_ , she thought but doesn't say. 

"Of all things, yakuza?" She gestured with her hands hoping to emphasize something. 

_"Why yakuza, again?"_

( **"You're what?!"** She exclaimed in disbelief. "I'm sorry but I think I heard you wrong. Can you like repeat that, please?"

Sakyou sighed because this was the third time he was repeating this and he was getting tired of it. If he knew this was how you were going to react, then he would've just texted you or mailed you whichever was more convenient. 

"I'm gonna join the yakuza, Rika," He said with the same determination as the first time he declared it.

Combing through her hair and tugging a few strands, she finally asked, "And pray tell why?" She massaged the bridge of her nose to squash down an upcoming headache but she thinks this time it won't work. "If you need money, you could just get a part-time job or two. No need to go to this extreme, Sakyou," she reasoned with him.

"For the Mankai Company."

"For the Mankai Company?" She repeated after him, her voice lacking the conviction he had and was just coated with confusion and bewilderment. _'_ _Cause that explains everything!_

  
Sakyou looked at her. She saw his lavender eyes burning with determination and her worries increases yet again. Yakuza wasn't something like literature or math class that he always excelled at and she was scared that it's gonna ruin him. _Just because of one girl,_ she thought.

"You'd do the same for Takeshi, won't you?" 

And wasn't that a whole other can of worms. )

"I saw Takeshi when I was getting you flowers," Sakyou said as soon as he got to the seat besides her bed. He watched her wipe the blood near her lips and feels something ache inside him.

"I'm sorry I can't imagine you in a flower shop," she laughed, her voice coming out in a wheeze because of her probably aching and dry throat. He hid a wince when she coughed yet again, and opted on making her even more comfortable in her bed.

  
Tucking her amber coloured hair under her ears, he said, "I never really did get to punch him for you." Seeing her laugh, he noticed how her peach-like cheeks had now turned sickly white. He couldn't help but press his thumb on her cheeks with a grimace.

  
"Wh, what are you doing, Sakyou?"

He hears her hoarse voice startling him out of his stupor. "Nothing," he murmured. He returned to his seat after making sure her blankets are tucked in neatly. 

"You don't have to visit me everyday, Sakyou." 

And Sakyou doesn't know what that means.

( "Did you and Takeshi had a fight?" He said out of nowhere, startling her into dropping her phone.

  
"Why?" Rika asked back, retrieving her phone on the floor. 

Throwing her a blanket to cover her legs, Sakyou sighed. "You're here in my room. Hanging out with me," he said in a 'isn't it obvious' tone that made Rika raised an eyebrow.

"It's nothing big," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Besides, you make it sound like I only hang out with you when I'm not with my boyfriend."

"You're lying."

"Says who?"

"Says me," he said. "I mean, you do this —" he tucked a hair behind his ears, mimicking her "— when you lie, Rika." Knowing that she will not let this die after seeing her teasing smile, he turned red and regretted befriending her.

"He cheated on me."

"Should I punch him for you?" He said without hesitation, eliciting a laugh out of her. He can't help but smile when he sees her finally laughing. )

Sakyou pushed the wheelchair in front of him. They were on their way to the garden of the hospital as part of Rika's exercise. 

"It's been a long time since I've gone outside," Rika said with a giddy smile. "I saw the sunflowers in my room and they were so tall and pretty, Sakyou!" She looked up to see Sakyou looking at her and she felt her cheeks become warm.

Looking down at her brightly smiling face, he said, "You should've ask the nurse to bring you here then." 

"You're so unromantic, Sakyou!" Rika boo'd him. She intertwined her hands and shyly smiled, "Of course, I wanted to see it with you."

( "I'm really good with my hands, Sakyou," Rika said, fiddling with the flowers in her hands. 

"So? Would that make you help me set up our blanket under this tree?" He replied, spite lacing his voice as he carried the blanket under the Cherry Blossom. "You're seriously not helping me?" He faced the girl and asked, a tick mark on his forehead.

"You do that since you're the boy," she said, shooing him away.

"That's sexist."

"I'll give you a flower crown and even teach you how to make one."

"That doesn't even sound appealing."

"Imagine making one for your beloved," she grinned. )

"Here, Sakyou." She gestured for him to lean down so she can put the flower crown on top of his head. Looking at her work she praises, "You look pretty."

Sakyou got up from his position and dusted off the dirt on his knees careful not to topple the crown in his head. He reached out towards her head and put the flower crown he made. "You look prettier, Rika," He said with a soft smile.

  
_That's cheating_ , Rika thought as warmth crept up her cheeks. 

( It started with a cough.

"You okay?" Sakyou asked when he heard Rika coughing. Concern painted his features.

Coughing again, Rika mumbled a small 'excuse me'. She cleared her throat and answered, "Yeah, probably just the ice cream I ate last night."

"I thought idiots don't get sick," he teased, though worry still flickers in his lavender eyes.

Rika rolled her eyes. "So funny, nerd." )

"He's not coming today again, Ken?" 

"Aniki is busy making sure that those Mankai folks pay up, Anego." Ken answered as he finished peeling the last orange. "You don't want me here, Anego?"

"I do," she answered because she genuinely feels grateful that she has someone to talk to in this boring room. "Want you here, I mean."

"But Mankai?"

"That theater group, Anego!" 

Of course, she knew that. She's been hearing that word since they were kids but to think she'd hear it again. Does god hate her?

( Then, a fever.

"Did you come to make fun of me again, genius?" She greeted him with a teasing smile. Although, all Sakyou could see was an idiot breathing heavily in her bed because of her fever.

"I bought pudding," he said as he silently closed the door behind him. "I thought you'd get tired of eating porridge all the time, Rika."

She gasped at what he said, coughing soon after because it was too much burden for her throat. "The straight-laced Furuichi Sakyou just bought a patient a pudding. The world must be ending!" She said in a sing-song voice ending it with an 'oh my god!' causing her to go into a coughing fit again.

Sakyou snorted at his dumbass of a friend. "Shut up, Ms. Patient, and eat your pudding," He said, handing her the pudding and a teaspoon. He saw her raising an eyebrow at the teaspoon and he shrugged, "That's the only thing I could smuggle in here." )

The rain poured outside her room. The sunflowers that always stood tall are now hunched over. The scene outside made her room even more depressing.

The pounding of the rain and her coughing reverbrates around her room.

Rika was alone.

She was alone as she tries to stop the chrysanthemums from falling off her hands and as blood and tears coated her.

_Where are you?_

( And then she heard the clock starts its countdown towards her inevitable end.

"Nakamura-san, you have the Hanahaki disease." )

( "So what did the doctor said?" 

"It was the flu and he told me to take it easy for the rest of the week," she said, not looking at him in the eye and stopping herself from tucking her hair. _Just like I practiced.  
_  
"Really?" He asked one more time, his stance finally relaxing. He released the breath he didn't even know he was holding. 

"Yeah, you worrywart." She gave him a closed eye smile. _How can I tell you otherwise?_ )

Hearing the door open, she said without even looking, "Ken, you're early today. Missed me already?" She busied herself again with arranging the flowers in the vase. _They're wilting_ , she thought, noticing the hunched stems of the flowers.

"I'm glad the two of you are getting along well," she heard the familiar voice. Turning towards him, she smiled.

  
"Purple hyacinths again, Sakyou?" 

He smiled, reaching for the vase besides her bed to put the flowers in it. "Do you have any requests?" He asked, looking at her smiling figure. He couldn't help but notice how she grew thinner and paler. _I should've visited sooner_ , he thought.

"Dandelions and Baby's breaths would be nice."

( "I'm going to the restroom watch my things for me, Sakyou," she whispered at him. Rika silently left her seat to not disturb the professor's lectures. As soon as she left the room, she ran towards the restroom while carrying a purse.

Locking the cubicle's doors, she slumped down. With how many times she'd done this, it feels natural now. And wasn't that a thought that vomiting flowers and blood is natural.

Then as if to curse her, she felt her throat clenching. She tries to clear her throat which only results to a coughing fit. And then she felt saliva pooling in her mouth so she positioned herself in front of the toilet. "Ack!" She coughed, petals falling out of her mouth while blood dripped down her chin.

It hurts, she thoight as tears fell down the toilet bowl too. Rika inserted her fingers in her mouth to forcefully make herself vomit. 

Breathing heavily, she flushed the flowers down. )

( "What took you so long in the toilet?" 

"I'm glad I stayed with you until college, Sakyou."

"What?"

"You're finally showing your true colors."

"I'm not a pervert!" )

"Here you go, Anego!" Ken handed him a CD making her raise her eyebrow. "It's a video of Aniki's performance. I asked the wimpy manager for it!" He said, a proud smile blooming on his lips that Rika couldn't help but pat his head.

"Thank you, Ken," She said, mustering the strength to smile at him.

"You watch it when we're not here, Anego!" He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Performance, huh. She hadn't heard anything like that from Sakyou.

( "They didn't tell me anything," Sakyou started. 

The atmosphere in the hospital room solemn and even the beeping of the machine connected to Rika made the situation worst. 

"Wouldn't even look me in the eye," he continued. Reaching out towards her hands, he squeezed it. "Please tell me, Rika, that it only looks worse than it really is."

Rika eyed their intertwined hands, her heart clenching. She looked at him and tucked her hair in. Licking her lips, she smiled and said, "Honestly, they were overreacting. I just fell down the stairs, nerd."

"Kami, you're an idiot." 

_Because we both know that's a lie, Rika._ )

The TV came to life after she sclicked the play button. She waited for a few moments before seeing his silhouette.

_**I've averted my eyes from my dream for a long, long time now.** _

She was a bit surprised at the emotions in that one sentence. The sadness she could see in his face pained her.

_**But one day, out of the blue, a little girl noticed me there and started talking to me.** _

"The fated meeting," she murmured.

_**Eventually, I was stopping by and practicing at MANKAI Company every day—and I came to love acting more and more.** _

Rika thought that Sakyou did always shined brighter when he was acting or talking about it. Looking cooler than the usual him.

_**I only spent one week with this girl, who was Yukio-san's daughter. She was just visiting Tokyo.** _

_**I took care of her for that week; so when she had to leave, she cried and cried.** _

_**I still can't forget the warmth of her hand that grabbed me and didn’t let me go.** _

"One week," she whispered in amazement. "That's how long you've been together and you did everything for her that's—" her eyes widened and she could feel the roots clawing their way up. She coughed and blood painted her hands. 

"That's so unfair, Sakyou," she cried as chrysanthemums continue to bloom in her chest.

_**I couldn't stand the thought of this place disappearing. If people no longer came to this theatre, I felt like that would be the end of my connection with Yukio-san and the little girl, so—.** _

"You're willing to go that far for a one week relationship and nothing for me?" 

_I've been here longer_ , she thinks as she crushes the flowers in her hands. 

**You're fucking unfair.  
**  
And maybe it was her fault for hoping again.

( And then, the truth untold.

Rika thought that it was bound to happen because hiding everything especially from someone who knew you like the back of his hands was impossible but she never wanted it to be like this.

She didn't even know she fell down until she was looking up at Sakyou. She couldn't hear anything, it felt like there was a bubble wrapped around her. There was blood on her hands. Her coughs racking her body as chrysanthemums continues to fall.

"—ka! What's wrong?!" She heard him but it doesn't register, all she can think of were the flowers on her lap.

**No! No! No!** She frantically picks the flowers pushing them in her stomach trying to hide it from him. **Not him, please. He can't see this, please!** Blood seeped into her dress but it doesn't stop her hands from hiding the chrysanthemums into her bosom.

She felt someone touching her face and she sees her figure reflected into those lavender eyes. _**Kami**_ , she looks pathetic. She cried harder because this was inevitable but she wanted to hide longer. She felt his arms pull her into his chest and she hates how weak she was.

Pushing Rika's face into his chest, he hugged her tightly. "Rika, the ambulance is near so please hold on a little longer." He could feel her trembling and he hugs her even tighter, afraid she'll disappear. )

_Today_ , she thought looking at the scene beyond her window, _is a beautiful day_. She smiled.

Rika reached the hyacinths by her side and she felt tired. She closes her eyes as she felt the slumber calling her.

It must be near.

( "When did you plan to tell me?" Sakyou asked her. He was seated on the chair besides her bed and she can see the bags under his eyes. "When you're dead?" His voice brittle like he's a second away from crying and she hates herself a little more. 

He looked up to meet her eyes but she pointedly avoids it because she knows she'll breakdown. She doesn't want him to see her so weak again.

"You'll choose surgery, right?" He said in a small voice that Rika wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't paying attention. "You'll choose surgery, right," he repeated, this time louder and it sounded like he was trying to make himself believe that she'll live and Rika can't lie anymore to him so she stayed quiet. )

"I don't want to!" She said her voice rising higher than she intended.

"Do you want to die that badly, Rika?" Sakyou accused her. His eyes were filled with anger and sadness as he looked at Rika who looked frailer compared to the last time he visited. 

"No!" Rika slammed her hand down the nightstand toppling the vase on it. It crashed to the floor, the sound echoing in the dark room. "I just want you to love me," she whispered, staring at the hyacinths surrounded by the broken fragments of the vase.

"I'll get someone to clean this up."

( "You don't have to come everyday, you know?" She said, not looking at him even for a second. She only heard the sound of the water coming from the tap. They've only been away from each other for a week and yet she doesn't know how to talk to him anymore. He's here but he feels so far away, she thought and maybe it was all her fault.

She watched him putting the vase on her nightstand. It took him several seconds before removing his hands on it. He sat on her bed, his back facing her. "They said you'd be cured if you get surgery." He stopped speaking and looked at her, searching for something in her face and maybe he didn't like what he saw because he looked even more defeated than earlier. "Or your love becomes requited," he continued, biting his lips.

There was pregnant pause and the atmosphere grew pensive. Then, Rika realizes as he looked at her that that was the first eye contact they've ever had ever since she got admitted. Sakyou looked so tired in a way that a sleep wouldn't be able to cure it. In a way that she hated and to think she was the cause of it hurts her more than the flowers crawling their way out of her body.

"Why me, Rika?" )

"I never really get why you bring flowers," she tried for a conversation starter. "I mean, I throw up flowers? And it's a waste to buy more if I can provide for free?" She continued, hoping to elicit a response from him.

"Really, Rika? Morbid jokes," he said in a stern voice, ready to scold her if needed. 

She counts this as her win and grinned at him. "I know. I have good taste, right?" She joked.

Sakyou smiled at her reaction but soon drops it when he remembers something. He sees her raising an eyebrow and said, "I'm performing next week." He paused, hesitating to continue because Mankai has always been a painful injury for her that never really did heal and still continues to bleed even now.

Seeing him pause and hesitate, and knowing it was for her sake, she said, "I know!" She gave him a cheeky smile and continued, "You're brother invited me already, by the way."

She counted his laugh as another win.

( **During their first year of College  
**

"Here you go, kouhai." A senior grinned at her, handing her a glass of beer. She was about to refuse him when she sees Sakyou moving closer to her and reaching towards the glass.

"She's not allowed to drink much, senpai." She watched him take the glass and drink the beer like it's water. Her eyes widen and she hides a smile behind her hands. 

"It's true, senpai," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears when she sees her senior is about to make fun of Sakyou. "Besides, you like me that much, senpai?" She asked with a cheeky grin, steering the topic away from the man besides her.

"I do, Riri-chan!" Her senior playfully replied and even making kissing faces at her that made her laugh. Her smile turning brighter when she feels Sakyou's arms pulling her near him. )

"Her temperature is dropping! Quickly call the doctors!" The nurse shouted to her colleague while moving quickly to check her vitals. Biting her lips, she observed the monitor, praying that the doctors arrive soon.

"She's not breathing!"

"CPR! CPR! Move quickly!"

"The doctors are here!" She feels relieved hearing those words form her colleague. She moved to the side making space so that the doctors can work quickly.

"Prepare the defibrillators and contact her family."

( "For everything, I guess." She confessed, looking at her lap. "You were with me for the longest and then it just clicked," she continued while fiddling with the blanket.

"Rik—"

She interrupted him from speaking. "You don't have to." She clenched her hands around the blanket and smiled sadly, "I understand since if it's meant to be, it should've happened sooner, you know?"

A pause and then a sigh.

"Well, that's that." She looked at Sakyou and she can't even muster the strength to smile or ask the question she's been dying to ask. "I'm tired, Sakyou."

She watched him stand and walk towards the door, hesitating to open it. He looked at her before leaving and she thinks, why not me? )

"Then, let's do this from the start. One last time," Tachibana announced after she told the autumn troupe what they needed to work on. Hearing their affirmatives, she clapped her hands to signal them to begin.

“Why'd you call — " The actor was interrupted when someone slammed the doors open. Everyone looked towards the doors, surprised by the loud noise.

Banri sees the guy who was always following Sakyou around like a puppy and he wad ready to snap at the guy. Although, before he could get a word out he was interrupted for the second time that day.

"Aniki!" Relief flashed into his eyes when he sees Sakyou as soon as he entered the auditorium, although, it doesn't stop his haggard breaths. "They said," he spoke, voice coming out rough and brittle. "They said Anego is in critical. That she's not breathing so they had to — " He tried to continue speaking but it's hard. It felt likr there was something clogging his throat, stopping him from speaking when he should be speaking because his Aniki needs to hear this.

_He needs to hear this, please. He's scared._

Sakyou moved towards Ken in hurried steps, ignoring the growing confusion of his fellow troupe members and the director. He put his hand on the kid's shoulders and said, "Calm down and match my breathing." He hopes his voice came out calm because his mind was anything but calm. Different scenarios getting worst and worst flashed in his mind, and he prayed. _Kami, don't take her from me._

Ken heard Sakyou used that voice he always used when he wants him to calm down and forget his worries because everything will be fine, and he believed. 

( Finally, his confession.

"The welcoming party is starting soon," he says looking at the girl in front of him. He sighs when the girl seems to not hear him. "What are you spacing out for?" He asks standing besides the girl and looking at the stage, he tries to find what she's looking at that makes her this mesmerized but fails.

"Oh, Sakyou-san." She greets him with a smile as if just now realizing he was there. "It's just," she says looking for the right words. "Mankai has come a long way," she concludes with a proud smile.

Sakyou looks at the girl besides him and says what's on his mind, "This is only the beginning." When he sees her hum in approval, he continues speaking, "You were the one who forced the hands of my clock forward."

He looks at her widened eyes and he smirks, "Take responsibility, Director." 

And he counts her blush as a win. )

Sakyou feels like he was always too late. Too late to save her from getting hit by her boyfriend. Too late to find out her feelings. Now, he's too late to even hear her goodbyes.

He thinks, _did I ever tell her I'm sorry?_ Holding her hands to his face he cries and cries. Apologies leaving his mouth. Apologies she'll never get to hear.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you the only thing you ever asked of me."

**Author's Note:**

> And that's wrap!
> 
> Yes, no happy ending for our dear Rika. TBH, the plan was a happy ending or at least her getting a surgery but she angst so this happened. I really wanted her to live because I don't want Sakyou first step towards his dreams to be coated with the death of his best friend, you know? So, I'm nnot guilty but Rika is.
> 
> Anyways, Rika never really called Sakyou as her friend in her monologues because she sees him as the guy he loves and she wants something more than just being friends. Also, when she said she wanted Baby's Breathes and Dandelions she means,
> 
> "My love for you is eternal but I want you to be happy."
> 
> Isn't she a sweetheart? I felt my heart clenched too so don't you worry. BTW, purple hyacinths is Sakyou's way of saying,
> 
> "I'm sorry."
> 
> There was never a chance for a love to bloom. I feel sorry for Rika because she's dying and all Sakyou can offer is an apology.
> 
> Lastly, chrysanthemums are Sakyou's official flowers. They mean joy, fidelity, optimism, and longevity which was quite the opposite of what happened to Rika.
> 
> That's it, I guess? Let me know if 4226 words is too much for one chapter while not counting the author's notes.
> 
> (how do i add pictures?)


End file.
